It's Been Awhile

It's been a long time since the last post. I don't even think I'll facebook this post...maybe tomorrow...

It's 3:24 a.m.

I need to sleep. Though I've been sleeping pretty normally for the passed two weeks or so. Waking up at breakfast time, fall asleep before the sun wakes up.

But it's Summer. Sleeping habits are irrelevant. It's hot. I stay in the air conditioning or the pool unless I MUST go someplace else.

Been thinking a lot about arty things lately. I want to paint something or write something. Something specific but I can't put a finger on it. I get flashes of potential scenes from stories but I don't know who characters are or what their motives are. It's interesting and frustrating. I think it's almost time I just drop trying to find it with thought and just start painting or writing whatever flows through my fingers and seeing what happens and even if it's trash or good I'd just keep going until I got better and the stories found me instead of looking for them myself.

It's very annoying. But I like the challenge. Keeps me going.

Also been animating. But slowly. But I like how this project is coming along. I think I might actually be able to watch this one myself without rolling my eyes.

G'night.

Hm.

Today has been filled with many thoughts. Many thoughts.

First I was mad, basically, that it was no longer the early 2000's and I kind of realized again that tv is different now. I do this a lot. When it comes to tv I still expect to see the usual shows. In the evening I still expect to find Toonami going on for Cartoon Network. I still expect Nick at Night to start at 9. I miss this. I miss it so much. It was so perfect.

But it's different now. And it sucks.

For a new generation this will be the normal situation. It's a darn shame. Just because there's new kids doesn't mean the channels have to take off the cartoons. The characters don't age with us. They are timeless. Show the reruns. Why is that such a big deal? No matter. I emailed Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network complaining. I'll probably get an automated response back that doesn't answer any of my questions but it got me off my rant.

Now I'm just sort of thinking about everything. Mostly the future. There are a great many things I plan on doing. I want to see Europe. And the pyramids. I want to go to Disney World and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. But most importantly and I think we are all keenly aware of this...I want Pixar.

It's really frustrating too. I know I want to work in this place. I have a vague idea of what I would like to do there. But here I am, in highschool, learning all sorts of things that are interesting to some people....but not to me. And I get 43 minutes of art class where we are restricted to boring project guidelines and given little creative room. I know there will be project guidelines at Pixar...but based on the extensive research I've done on that place....those guidelines will be so much more fun. It's very frustrating. Forced to wait for the time to come. I feel like I'm chained down.

And I don't like "going out" and "partying". I have no need or want to drink or do stupid things. I effing want Pixar. I don't know how else to put it. And I don't want to do anything like that to endanger the chances of working there. Is that paranoid? Probably. But I want this so very badly. Time will fly by, I'm sure. When the time comes I'll say that wasn't so bad. But right now it feels very...poop. Like I'm standing in the middle of desert and I know exactly where I want to go but every time I move the location moved backward as I move forward.

And I was also thinking about how mean people are to eachother. That is a very big topic. I won't really get into it. But I don't understand it. I find it amazing how easily we could all just be happy but there are still people who intentionally choose to be bitter and evil and put people down. Makes no sense. No sense at all.

Sigh.

Oops.

I've been neglecting the blog.

I'll really get back to it when I have something interesting to say.

Maybe I'll make fun of the Kids Choice Awards later. Hm.

But in the meantime...

I've been reading a lot.

Painting a lot.

Watching a lot.

Getting mentally prepared to get back to making animations. I want to try and make a full hand drawn cartoon very soon.

That's about it....

Drugs

I don't see the point of them.

But the sad part is the world might be worse off without them. The Beatles wouldn't have been quite as good without them. A great number of things in the art industry wouldn't be quite as good without them. But I am quite certain I will never ever take them.

As good as the music is and the books are that were produced because of drugs...I still consider it cheating. If an author takes drugs and writes about a hallucination he saw...I think if writing were a game, that would definitely be cheating.

If you can't produce a good piece of creative writing without drugs, you should either practice or give up. Now that doesn't mean I don't listen or read things that were the product of drugs. I respect the fact that it's good but it's still, in the back of my mind, cheating.

And unfortunately, something I hate, a lot of artists who didn't do drugs or show no evidence of drug usage get written up as drug users because they created something great.

I feel like every time some great movie or book comes out SOMEONE just HAS to ask "what were they on?" ... this upsets me.

Dr. Seuss is one such case. There is 0 proof that he did drugs. He drank and he smoked. That's about it. He showed his creative style and way of thinking from his CHILDHOOD. That's just the way he was! Unless there is solid proof that he did drugs, he didn't do them and that was just how powerful and great his imagination was.

I believe in the power of creating something great with your own mind and no outside influences like that, other than things that truly inspire you. To me, it's simply more pure. It's better. And, I think it would certainly be more satisfying.

If you're sick and you medically need drugs like that to get better, fine. Whatever.

And alcohol is something different. I personally have no immediate plans to drink. The world would certainly be worse off without it. I think it's silly that it would be, but it's true. Whatever. Without alcohol there would be no Edgar Allen Poe or, while I mentioned him, Dr. Seuss. An exceptionally larger amount of people drink than do drugs. So to me it's a "if you want to do that, fine. Whatever floats your boat." sort of thing.

So yeah. That's my opinion about that. It's a very debatable topic. There are all kinds of exceptions and circumstances. But in the end, I think if you want to do that...fine. It's not my life. But if you're an artist, I think you're cheating. And in my mind you don't get punished for that. But you cheated. Feel a little guilty.

Cereal Mascots

I think the last thing I would ever want to do with my life ever would be being a cereal mascot.

They don't look like it, but I think they lead the worst lives ever.

They never, ever, ever get what they want.

Lucky Charms Leprechaun: He just wants to be left alone. But those effing kids won't stop chasing him. Really? Leave the poor thing alone to eat his cereal in peace. I don't get how he could still smile after all he's been through. And I don't think I've ever seen him peacefully eat a bite of it yet.

Trix Yogurt Rabbit: Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. This rabbit's life goal is to eat yogurt. And the kids never give it to him. Ever. I would probably kill myself if I spent years and years going after this yogurt only to be taunted by those disgusting kids. "Silly rabbit, trix are for kids!" .... uhh no it isn't. I could go get a pack of trix yogurt and feed it to a dog, no problem. Trix are not just for you filthy children. And the silly rabbit can walk and run on two feet and talk and think somewhat cleverly, he has the same mental or greater mental capacity than those stupid kids and he clearly deserves that yogurt. But it's not entirely at the fault of the kids. The trix rabbit is large enough to easily simply grab the stupid yogurt from them.

Cookie Crisp Wolf: He's one of my least favorite mascots but he still just wants to eat a stinking bowl of cereal and the kids just won't let him. I don't get this.

Why are kids happily depicted as these tormenters of cartoon creatures? You'll notice nobody ever likes the kids. They like the characters. And this is because we are attached to them. We secretly hope that one day they WILL achieve their goal. But...alas...this will likely never happen. Or at least, officially happen.

I've put a frighteningly large amount of thought into these characters over the years. There's plenty more to pick at, too. But those are the three that stick out to me. Hopefully they do get what they want. Until then, I will be eternally frustrated with those stupid commercials.

The Moon

The moon is bright tonight in case you didn't hear.

I like the moon more than the sun.

Why? The moon is more mysterious. We can spot things like faces and rabbits on it. Rumors went around that it was made of cheese. It is of the night, the most mysterious and frightening time of any day. And above all, something the sun will never have, we can look at it for extended periods of time without harming ourselves.

If Earth was in love with anything, it would be The Moon. Closest to Earth, in a never ending dance around each other.

Also, the moon can help convey so many emotions. Deep thought, fright, romance...

And to think little ant sized men have actually stood on it. Just think of someone standing on the moon, so far away. Mind boggling. This is where humans are amazing, not awful. They do impossible things. Or, impossible by our standards.

I will never stop looking at the Moon, for it will never cease to amaze me with it's mysterious beauty.

And that's about all I have to say about that.

Spring and Fall

If I were forced at gunpoint to choose my favorite season I would probably pick Spring. Or Fall. Spring and Fall are the lesser of the extremes. The inbetweens. Like Goldylocks and the Porridge, summer is too hot, winter is too cold, and spring and fall are jussstt right.

Spring is also my favorite because it's open window season.

I highly endorse the opening of windows. I think it's the best. I, for whatever reason, always think better when the window is open and I can feel the breeze. I hope when I am older and I eventually own a house, that there will be large windows so when they are open I can feel outside when I am actually inside.

Windows also "de-pressurize" your room, as I put it. You never notice it until the window is open, but when it is you feel like you can breath better and, to me, my room seems bigger when it really isn't.

And I love to watch the leaves. With Spring, the leaves are born, and with Fall the leaves change colors and die. It's mystifying to watch the process. This is another thing I learned in school and can't remember anymore. And I'm thankful for that. I like things like that to remain mysterious. The only scientific thing I have ever wanted to learn the facts about is Space. Because there's something magical about it still despite knowing the facts.

But don't get me wrong. Summer and Winter are excellent too. But by the end of those seasons, you're so tired of it and wish it would just end. More so for Winter than Summer, because School comes with the end of Summer. Which is awful.

And now I shall listen to Louis Armstrong and relax by my open window. I hope you all have an excellent Spring.